This is how great platforms become irrelevant. In this hugely competitive global village, you slack for one second and before you know it 10 bigger and better bloggers in your forte emerge and no one cares to visit your page any more. After all, they kept refreshing it for a whole week to no success! But forgive me for I have a very valid reason for going undercover.The last week has been a complete roller coaster ride for me. I have pretty much been operating like a zombie and never experienced this level of fatigue and sleep deprivation, not even when either of my kids were weeks old. I lie, it was crazy when Xena was weeks old as I was a first time mother clueless about everything. But with Xia, a walk in the park is an understatement! Before you wonder where I am going with this and move on to the next interesting read, let me indulge you.
So two weeks ago, my ever so exuberant nanny/househelp started acting up. I have had her for almost two years and not a single day has she sulked at any of us. Of course she experiences the usual sadness and worry that engulfs any human being once in a while but she always tries her best to suppress that and not let it get in the way of her work. But this time round she was nothing like I have seen her before! She suddenly developed a hearing problem and I would have to call her name about three times before she responded, even when she was five metres away! She stopped being chatty and our conversations were now characterized by me having a monologue and her responding with one worded answers. On one particular day, I came back from my errands to find the curtains haphazardly drawn and the sitting room in a sorry state.
“How were the kids today? Did they disturb you? What did you give Xena and did she eat well?”
“Did the baby feed well today?”
Meanwhile, when i checked the records where she notes down the baby’s daily feeds, she had only drunk 210mls of milk between 8am and 4pm and she normally does between 450-500mls!) How in anyone’s world is that good? When you look at the baby in the photo, does she look like she would be ok with 210mls in 8 hours? I immediately knew there was a big problem! At that point, I contemplated being a fulltime mom but then who was going to take care of my shoes addiction? And the many holidays I want to go for this year, who will pay for my shopping? So I snapped back into reality and decided to think through this whole quagmire.
I sat her down and asked her if all was well and she told me that her mom was unwell. She was hoping she could go see her over Easter but since she had excitedly committed to going with us to the coast then, she did not know what to do. Please note that at that point, Easter was exactly five weeks away. If my mom was critically ill (God forbid), would I wait for five weeks to go see her? Of course not. But that’s just me I guess. I suggested to her that her mom needed her then and not in five weeks time so she should go and take care of her. I told her to take off for 10 days from Friday to Sunday and gave her a full month’s salary, bus fare and shopping for her mom. Since this was the first time in almost two years that any of her family member was unwell, I decided to trust her to be telling the truth. After all, they say shame on you if you fool me once, right?
The first weekend as a fulltime mom was not too bad, if anything, the help is always away on weekends. It is the weekdays that got me fully cognizant of how demanding and taxing and draining running a home with a husband and two kids can be! I had just gotten used to having 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and all of a sudden, like clockwork, i had to be up every morning at 6.00am to make breakfast and get Xena ready for school. Let’s not get into how frustrating it can be feeding an unbothered toddler with limited amount of time, as I captured here and talked about a while back over here. Before I knew it, it was 7.30am and the dad was already whimpering about how he was never going to make it for his Monday morning brief this year!! How about you wake up at 6.00am on Mondays and help get your daughter to eat breakfast, dad? How about that!
Meanwhile, Xia is awake and cooing happily as we are all skidding up and down the house trying to get ready. The moment father and daughter step out at 7.45am, I take a deep breath and sit down to gobble up my breakfast. Then Xia lets out a piercing cry as if to mean that I should not take advantage of her patience! So I abandon my egg and spinach and tend the baby. She takes a whole 180ml bottle of milk in one sitting and immediately goes back to sleep! (remember how the help ony fed her 210ml between 8am to 4pm? Sigh). I manage to finally have my breakfast and I start cleaning up. I could not believe my eyes when I saw the amount of dirt that lay in areas such as behind the fridge and cooker. I suddenly noticed how dirty the windows and curtains were and how half of Xena’s toys lay behind the couch! I decided to start with the kitchen and turn everything upside down. Newspapers, empty bottles, rotten arrow roots and much more came out of the ever so dark pantry/store and all of a sudden after I lined the shelves with new sheets of paper, it looked so bright! Within no time, the entire kitchen was sparkling. I was so proud of myself until I heard Xia cooing, looked at my phone only to see it was already midday! Dirty clothes which by now should have been laundered and drying up outside still lay in their baskets. The rest of the rooms were still in a sorry state and worse still, Xena would be getting home from school in no time and I would have to spend about an hour if not more overseeing that she eats her lunch.
That was my life last week and it’s a miracle I made it through, alive! On one morning, I somehow did not hear my alarm go off and thehubs was also dead asleep. I only embarrassingly jumped out of bed at 7.15am when I heard Xena knocking on the door and calling out my name!
The important thing is that I realized the amount of work that Mercy the help is faced with on a day-to-day basis is crazy! She was completely burnt out hence the mood swings. See previously there was only one child (well two including thehubs) and she managed fairly well. But now there are two (three hehe) and much as one can argue that other helps handle much more work than that, I personally couldn’t so I can’t expect her to. Because if I do, there will be a neglected baby, a dark pantry, lots of toys under the seat and lazily drawn curtains. And of course mood swings galore! So i decided to get extra help to assist her with the daily chores and made it clear to her that 210ml of milk drunk in eight hours is not acceptable!
Have a fruitful week and do not forget to subscribe. I promise we are back to regular blogging!