Mommy Musings

Mommy Musings Monday-Getting Back Up

September 19, 2016
Lilmissbelle-Tamarind

What would you do when on a Wednesday morning you go through your 4 year old daughter’s school bag and find pending assignments that were sent home last Friday? Worse still, you flick through the diary and find a reminder from the teacher drafted the previous day (Tuesday) urging you to please find time to help your child with her homework?

It’s Wednesday at 7.15am. I am only awake because it is practically impossible for R to get ready for work without banging closet doors. He goes a step further and pulls the covers off my head. “Have you seen my cufflinks? I placed them on the dressing table yesterday.” This happens at least twice every week.  I am tempted to go off at him, he will have to think twice the next time he wants to wake me up over his stupid cufflinks. Instead, I curse under my breath and for a split second imagine waking up to no R and kids just for a day.

Why is it so hard for men to be independent? What would happen if I left for a month and shipped the kids and maids to my mum’s and he was left all alone? Would he go to work with loose sleeves because he could not find his cufflinks? Why is it that only his cufflinks disappear while the tiniest of my earrings manage to stay put? Most importantly why does he have only ONE PAIR of cufflinks and like 10 shirts that are cufflinks dependent? Perhaps I should buy him a dozen of them on his next birthday and save myself the cost of throwing a surprise party at some exotic island.

“You may want to hang them around your neck at this rate.” I tell him as I get off the bed and traipse through the corridor to a chaotic living room, Xia moving around in her walker babbling in the most annoying shrill and Xena waltzing on her scooter because what’s there to do when you are ready for school but your daddy can’t find his cufflinks and your mummy…well let’s leave mummy out of this one. She’s already dealing with enough.

I spot Xena’s school bag leaning on the wall next to the door, waiting patiently to be picked. It suddenly occurs to me that I haven’t looked at her diary in ages. I pull out the clear folder from the bag and sitting pretty in it are two sheets of paper. One with a frog crouched on a lily pad, desperately in need of some color and the other with the letter C printed at the top in font size 16, a cup and an area to practice scribbling the letter C. The diary has a reminder from the teacher to work on the homework. I put out a note in the diary, apologizing profusely and indicating that we would work on it in the evening.

Hang on, are those disdainful stares checking in from self righteous people wondering who in their right mind forgets to go through their child’s diary for almost four days? I am not proud, but I don’t give a fiddler’s fart about your reaction to this. And I can tell you that checking the diary is not the only thing I have forgotten lately. This is the ugly that you rarely get to see on this blog.

Two weeks ago, we (pre-prep 1 (PP1) parents) were asked to attend a meeting in school on Thursday at 2.00pm to acquaint us with the new class that our kids had just joined. The note came in on the afternoon of the day they resumed school (Monday). I informed R about it and he said “My calendar is fully booked and you have to take one for the team.” He had just gotten back to work after a two-week break and expectedly, his schedule was crazy. I made a mental note to attend the meeting on Thursday. What I should have done instead, like any normal modern-day person with access to an online planner, is strike off the date and time on my calendar and set a one-day reminder.

As fate would have it, some potential clients from Johannesburg were in town that Thursday and plans were made to shoot the breeze over lunch at 12.30pm. I was desperately trying to appease their spirits so that they would eventually sign up with us and all my energy was directed at making them happy. You can therefore see how the school meeting totally skipped my mind. It was only at 4.00pm after a hearty lunch filled with random chatter and desperate hopes of securing an account, that messages from the WhatsApp group consisting of PP1 mummys jolted my frenzy to a halt.

I have been procrastinating our Saturday blog shoots for over a month. I have a ( mykidscouture.com ) package to send to a customer that has been lying in my office drawer for a whole week. Xia turns one tomorrow (she’ll actually be one by the time this goes to press) and Xena four on the 30th of this month. I am yet to make arrangements for a birthday party. Worse still, I don’t even have a date in mind since all weekends between now and 8th of October are filled with events that normal friends planned for and sent out invites weeks in advance. Is it even right to have a birthday party say a month after the actual date?

In short, somewhere along the line, I lost my balance. It sucks and I need to gain back my control. I feel inadequate as a mother and a wife. As an analyst and a blogger. But I guess these are emotions even the most put together women go through, once in a while? Yes?

The most important thing, I should think, is to realize when one deviates from the race track and to pull themselves together as fast as they can. Time to get my priorities in order and get back to kicking ass.

Love, Joy.



26 Comments

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Jay

So back by popular demand or back because steam needed a release? Either way I am happy.
Anyway take time and breathe, it might be too much to handle, but Joy believe that without you, your family will be crazier. you are the cheese in their pizza. Without you, everything is just flat and doesn’t hold together.

I see you need a personal assistant, where do I send my CV? You can go through your day and not worry about what you forgot to do. Take vacations and come back to normal life with an easier transition. Have some one plan your party as you just want it. Just let me know when I can start.

Nduta

Breath woman… and don’t beat yourself up. This happens to me too…. infact I have decided that I will go away for a weekend twice a year just me to avoid going crazy and take stock….

DM

I came across your blog last week and have read all your posts. Your writing is great and a good story teller. You are a superwoman. I don’t have a family and can barely do the things you do. Keep up the good work.

    Lil'missbelle

    The fact that I kept you glued to my blog long enough for you to read all the posts says one of two things: either you are very bored or I am actually not doing too bad with the features! I choose to believe the later 🙂 Thank you DM.

Mama Ivanna

Oh pole mama…. life can be overwhelming. With all the stuff going on in our lives, this is bound to happen. I enlisted the help of my nanny to check that we have signed the diary before she packs it in the morning. You can try that and see if it helps. Happy birthday Xia …

Trizah

If you were a housemaker and had nothing else to keep you busy then trust me you’d have the cufflinks on the bedside and the homework done and signed…but you are not only ambitious but very hardworking and committed to whatever you put your mind to. You make me see how lazy I am at times. You should be in the 40 under 40

Lolo

Yaaaaay! Monday musings is back, I had really missed it. I love your honesty and you’re really dealing with a lot, maybe get someone to help you run the blogging part? Moms have to deal with so much and it becomes overwhelming so much so you feel you’re about to lose your mind but you’ll get back into step eventually. Happy Birthday Xia where’s the cake?

    Lil'missbelle

    It pains me to see alot of pretentious content on the internet so I decided I will be different and tell it as it is.
    When I get my act together and set a date for the birthday, I will let you know where the cake will be 🙂

fridah

oh my gosh Xia is turning one already?!.. my gosh that was fast… a Happy Happy birthday to her love… you are one suuper amazing woman you know..and you’ll surely get back on track within a sec am sure

sheyce

..that was a great post for a mommy musings comeback… Its completely normal to be in that phase,no one is perfect u know … And I know u will find your balance back..

.
..happiest birthday to Xia and may she celebrate many many more… I hope I get to get their presents on time,my weekends too have been crazily on the move and the boo disorganizes me … Siiigh ..
.
.. Just buy R dozens of those cufflinks…hahahaha

MOKEIRAH

You amazing human you!Knowing you,you will back to ass before we could even finish reading through.On that birthday party bit.Put them on the next flight.We will have a beach party!!!!!!!!



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