Mommy Musings

Mommy Musings Monday- Why turning 30 is absolutely exhilarating

October 3, 2016

If you think my dental formula is crooked, you clearly did not know me in my teenage hood. My teeth were an eyesore then.

As a result of resisting having my milk teeth pulled out and sucking my thumb until the age of 7, I ended up having crowded teeth. That did not bother me while in elementary school. Being someone who gets humored easily, I would laugh hard and flash my smile all the time, displaying my crooked teeth, all 36 of them! Maybe I should have just pursued arts, focusing on theater. I bet my teeth would have granted me an unfair advantage over other applicants for a role in Vampire Diaries. My mum tried convincing me to get them sorted out but I played hard ball. I had no qualms about having canines that stuck out like sore thumbs. Mom told me that one day I would frantically look for a dentist’s contacts and pay them a visit without anybody’s intervention. As sure as God made apples, that day came when I turned sixteen!

My dad taught me to ride a bike when I was 7 years old, something I want R to adopt for our daughters. He considered riding bicycles such a crucial and sacrosanct part of his kids’ development. So he ensured that all four of us learned the art without fail. It was of course not a smooth process and I still carry some of the scars on my legs and knees. Once I got the hang of it, I found so much pleasure in bicycle riding and at some point I wanted to do it on a professional level, and hopefully participate in Tour de France. Sadly, that never happened. What happened though is that I rode my bike so hard in my childhood, leaving me with masculine legs. Legs I thought I would never expose, at least not in this lifetime.

There’s a point to all these disclosures. Last Saturday, we celebrated a friend’s birthday. It was quite an exquisite party set in the 90’s at a friend’s lush backyard. She was caught by surprise, my eagle-eyed friend who is always too “chonjo” to be caught off-guard. With her glass of chardonnay in one hand, she moved from table to table expressing her gratitude to everyone present. Evidently, she was excited to have turned 30 and appreciative to have celebrated the day with her close friends. What she did not know is that her life had just begun. When she came over to me, I stood up and grabbed my whisky.

“Let’s go chat over there.” I said to her, pointing at the patio. I sprung myself on the hammock and she stood across me, with her back towards me, looking at the small gathering, completely overwhelmed.

“That’s the first thing that happens when you turn 30. You will appreciate your TRUE friends more and drop all the ones that don’t add value to your life, without flinching.” I said to her.

“Oh yeah? Surprisingly though, I have never felt compelled to put up with people hiding behind friendly facades.” She retorted.

“Ok. How about this. You will lose any remaining insecurities you may have. Also, you will wonder how you got to 30 bearing all that.” So I went ahead to tell her how liberating being 31 was for me.

It took bearing a child at the age of 27 to let go of some of my insecurities. And turning 30 to lose the remainder! The moment my clock turned 30, I felt this sudden gush of relief come over me and off it went with all my cares.

My eyes were immediately opened to the fact that some friendships were either one sided, or I was struggling to find common goals and interests. I suddenly had no place in my phonebook for such contacts.

My wardrobe changed. Out went most of my pants and jeans and in came mini and midi dresses, skirts and shorts. I thought to myself that if anyone had a problem with my chisel shaped legs and the marks they came with, they could go fry ice. I felt good when I wore my knee length pieces, and that’s all that mattered. I laughed hard and smiled more, and while at it, captured those moments for posterity.

I no longer accept invites to events and parties that are not my cup of tea just to please others. My happiness comes first, of course together with that of my family. So if something makes me happy and does not offend my family, I go for it. My daughters are my world, and they dictate how my Friday evenings pan out. From doing homework to going on movie/dinner dates or a drive, they are my bosses on Fridays. They come first always, but more so on Fridays.

The need for company to have some fun? Certainly, that does not apply to me. I will drive to the Abor on a Saturday afternoon and sit on the endearingly huge swing, with my favorite book in one hand and a sangria in the other! Their sangrias are divine.

And if I have to enjoy my drink with someone, save for date night with R and the once in a while drink ups with my girls, they have to be extremely witty and smart. Because I am intrigued by intellectual conversations, especially those that come with a touch of humor. I do not shoot the breeze, unless I am trying to win over a client. There’s so much happening in the world to have time for meaningless conversations.

I speak my mind, unapologetically so. I do what makes me happy, regardless of the awkward stares and silent murmurs. That is what being 31 is to me, and I can only hope that my friend finds as much joy and peace in her 30’s as I have found in mine!

 Love, Joy



Funny how no one told me how 30 would be but definitely went through the friends falling off the wagon and loving my own company most of the time. And yaaas to Sangria! Though Art Cafe have the best white ones and Dusit for red….but will try The Arbor before you tell me off 🙈🙊

Annrose karimi

Nice post and very insightful, I can relate to your post, am turning 30 next year and I have started to shed off my insecurities


Well put Joy. We are age mates and at 30, I realized that life is too short to live trying to impress others. It is so much easier to just be me and yes my family always comes first now. My insecurities about other’s opinions went out the window…I am living the life. Keep at it Joy. Blessings to you and the munchkins.


Though am 21,l relate with this post alot,l too love intelligent conversations and l keep contacts of friends who are True and l dropped the ones who don’t add value in my life long ago.


Lovely piece. Dropping friends is something that I did a soon as my son was born . Priorities did change and my babies come first. Being 30 is Cool.


I’m so encouraged to hear a lady in her thirties is more relaxed than her twenties…just a decade of pressure! Also, you know those legs of yours could make men fight and nations go to war, right?


Wow! This is amazing. I also got my daughter at 27 but when i tuned 30 everything change I have no patience for things that don’t matter or don’t add value. I like talking my mind unapologetically too. Thanks Joy


You just read my mind. Turning 30 was so liberating for me. I no longer feel the need to please people or hang onto friendships that are a strain. With age comes wisdom on what to focus your time and energies on.
Lovely blog and a toast to the 30s.


I am not so sure what happens in your 30’s – one just grows up and yes when you get a baby too, many things change. I was the one who got everyone together, when I turned 30, I realized most were just acquaintances and I dropped them. I also speak my mind):

Annie peter's

You make 30, sound soo cool. But it’s true 30 is about taking charge and being real… More especially to yourself. You really look amazing at 30, tho super mum. I remember there’s a day you couldn’t wear an above the knee dress without Boots😂😂😂
Good read as always

Shelmith Ng'ang'a

This is so cuttie☺👌
looking good girl..
u even look younger.. Lets say sweet 20s…
joy I now see where xia’s smile is from.☺


I love your Monday musings because I totally relate with them. I am a mom of two daughters ( had my first at 27 like you 😉 and turned 30 this year and it’s like a veil was opened from my eyes. I have this sense of urgency with life that I have no patience for things that don’t matter or don’t add value. Thank you for your writting


Nice post Joy !..I’m wierdly most of the things you just mentioned lol..after becoming a mommy.. Like I could literally count the friends I talk to right now..I dropped most….like everything I want to do the movie dates and all ..I haave to involve my daughter..and i tend to speak my mind unapologetically too..and am looving it..


Really nice post .. It sounds like 30 is not that scary like I thought…I got 7 more years to go..
..your legs are stunning … Your smile 👌👌👌👌

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