Yesterday as we were driving along James Gichuru road after attending church, Xena had her head craned (as always) analysing all the billboards we came across.
“Who’s that guy?” She asked, pointing at a billboard with a “big-boned” guy in a vest and an imposing pot belly that took up half of the ad space. He had a tape measure around his non-existent waist.
“I don’t know him Xena.” I responded as I quickly turned my gaze back to the road.
“I thought you read?” She asked as she turned to look at me.
“Sorry?” I asked her, rather confused.
“I thought you read so you know everything?” She expounded. “You said I have to read so that I can find answers to all my questions. You read every day, so how come you don’t know who that guy on the billboard is?”
“Touche.” I sighed as I took the first exit at the Lavington roundabout.
“What is that?” She asked.
“It means you are an extremely witty girl and I am both afraid and excited for when you start reading intensively.” I said.
“Ati witty? What is that?” She asked.
“It means you are clever and funny.” I said.
“How does he tie his belt?” She inquired.
“How does who tie his belt?” I asked her as I simultaneously said a silent prayer hoping that she was not about to throw another punch. Having a conversation with Xena lately feels like an exam, except that I would never know which topic to revise!
“The guy on the billboard.” She said.
“I think the same way you do. He must have a really long belt.” I said.
“He looks like Patrick.” She said.
“Who is Patrick?” I asked.
“The one on SpongeBob.” She said.
The mister -who had been reading a newspaper all this time- burst out laughing.
“What’s funny?” I asked?
“Who doesn’t know Patrick?” He said dismissively and immediately got into this discourse with Xena about Patrick and SpongeBob, laughing aloud and constantly giving each other high fives. I sneered.
Anyway, later on in the afternoon, we ended up at Concours d’Elegance at the Ngong Racecourse. We were stuck in traffic for almost two hours and all I kept thinking was how brilliant of an idea it was to ride with Xena’s friend. They sat in the boot and chatted away for two hours.
Otherwise, those would have been two hours of questions, all fired at me. I think I need to buy the mister a book or two.