Lifestyle, Xena's chronicles

Hilarious Rejoinders From An Opinionated Five Year Old

April 24, 2018
  1. The first time she saw me in a long black dress, which was as rare as a leopard sighting given that I love my dresses knee length “Wow! Mama, is today your wedding?”
  2. I hear her small steps pattering up the staircase and then a sudden thud. “Xena, what’s going on” I shout from my bedroom as I rush towards the door. “I just dropped my bible.” She responds as I open the door and when she sees my puzzled face asks, “You thought I broke your staircase?”
  3. At Fairmont Mt Kenya Safari Club in December last year, we check into the hotel room and the porter briefs us on the mini bar items and snacks. You know those overpriced nuts and crisps, like a small packet that goes for 500 bob? When the porter leaves, I pick the tray of snacks and store it in an upper shelf away from the reach and view of the kids as I explain to Xena. “So, this stuff is very expensive and if you consume it, we have to pay for it. But this stuff over here (pointing at the water and tea/coffee) is free.” An hour later, “Mama my nose is running. Is this serviette free?”
  4. The dad, pacing up and down as he waits for Xena (who is running late) to get ready for school asks her to hurry up as she is going to get late to school. “Calm down daddy. I got this.”
  5. When a friend gifted me this new black Louboutin kind red bottom pair of stilettos which by the way is the only pair of black heels I own “I know you love these shoes but you can’t wear them every day.”

**To be continued**

If you haven’t noticed by now, the blog publishing day has moved from Monday to Tuesday. I think we have finally graduated to a place where we can command readership even on a day that is flooded with content from other blogs and vlogs. I could be getting ahead of myself here, but time will tell.

I hope you enjoyed this random post on Xena’s outrageous rejoinders and if so, let me know below so that I can carry on with the series. Also, don’t forget to vote for us here for the Bake Awards! I know this is an exercise in futility given that, like politics, it’s all about numbers. However, lets just do our part and give it our best shot.

Kitenge tops from Toto Wraps

Xena’s shoes from Matique Junior Kids Shoes

Shoot location- A wheat farm in Timau, Kenya.

Lilmissbelle- Timau Lilmissbelle- Timau

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Cynthia
Cynthia
3 years ago

“You thought I had broken your staircase?” Hahahaaa, chills for who? I love Xena’s wit.

Gloria
3 years ago

Lovely, witty girl. I wonder who she takes after…🤔🤔😁😁ha ha…and yes to the series. P.S. I usually stay away from this blog for like 3 weeks (on purpose) just so that I can binge-read when I come. You inspire me.

Nana
Nana
3 years ago

You all look amazing 😍

Emma
Emma
3 years ago

Why does she have to throw shade like a pro?? I love how fast her brain works

Grace M
3 years ago

Xena is sooo awesome! And beautiful, and intelligent and everything nice 🙂

Tote
Tote
3 years ago

Hahaha!! Xena is so witty!! I absolutely adore her!!

kellyjoy
kellyjoy
3 years ago

Xena is hilarious…I hope when I get a kid someday she’ll be half as funny…This series is definitely a good thing.we hope to see more

Livy
Livy
3 years ago

reading about Xena’s rejoinders got me thinking of how effortlessly funny kids are. My daughter was telling me about how Kikuyus in her class love matumbo, on asking her who the Kikuyus are because I didn’t think she knew much about the ethnic groups in Kenya, she just said “aiii mum, you don’t know Kikuyus, I mean the people who live in Kikuyu town!”

Shelmith muthoni
Shelmith muthoni
3 years ago

Very witty girl

Vicky
Vicky
3 years ago

🤣🤣🤣mama is it your wedding today? You gotta love her. Very smart girl

Zippiey
Zippiey
3 years ago

I waited for an email yesterday and when I dint see anything I was like maybe it was filtered lol.. Your daughter will be speaking her mind all through which a good thing in this world today.

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